Pregnancy Sex? I wish!

I'm still waiting for the initial shock to wear off for me and I'm already 21 weeks!!!

Everyday I'm astonished that I'm actually pregnant because my husband and I went through Hell to finally get a positive on a pee stick. We tried endless fertility treatments that resulted in failure after failure. And while I finally got a BFP (big fat positive) I was nervous and scared because we've already suffered two losses in the past 5 years.

The complications weren't fun. I had an SCH (bleeding) from week 8 to week 14. I can't even describe how scary it was to feel like I was losing another one. I've never been religious but I prayed everyday for this baby to stay, promising if they stuck around it would be worth the wait.

For the first 4 months of my pregnancy I was on full pelvic rest- no sex, no intimacy, no breast stimulation, and NO getting turned on. Can I just tell you how much that sucked? Even though I was scared as Hell, I still had to deal with the pregnancy hormones that made me unbelievably horny. All I wanted was to be able to have sex and use toys and do all the things I did before with my newly changing body but I couldn't which meant an extreme avoidance of anything sex related.. sorry blog.

To make things worse for myself, at 17 weeks I fell on concrete. I went to the ER with mild contractions but after several hours of observation they stopped and ever since, my back is just not doing well. I was back on bedrest and told to take it easy... I pretty much wrapped myself in bubble-wrap after that.

And at 19 weeks, the military sent my husband away AGAIN! He'll be gone till Christmas and then he deploys for a year when the baby is just a few months old. Can I just SCREAM for a moment? lol. Can't have sex during my pregnancy because either I'm bleeding, he's gone, I'll be recovering from having a baby, and he'll be deployed... so it's going to be like 2 years without sex. Guess I should do my kegels so there's something down there worth coming home to for him.

I wanted nothing than more to tell everyone I was pregnant as this blog has been my big infertility/insecurity dumping ground but I was afraid. Afraid to buy anything and afraid to say anything for fear of jinxing myself. But I'm going to now- I'm beyond happy and IN LOVE with this baby, I cannot wait to meet my daughter.


I love the sex blogging community and wish I could have stuck around throughout the early weeks but many of my fellow sex bloggers have an innate ability to turn me on with their stories, anecdotes, erotica, and pictures that I just had to keep a distance. But really, without the community here to support me (especially Sexis for allowing me to write about infertility) I don't think I would be sitting here right now- pregnant, fat and happy.

I'm missing my husband and missing sex but I am looking forward to the future-- she's due around Christmas and I really think this is the best present I could have ever asked for. And maybe I'll get lucky enough for my husband to get some R&R to come home and fuck me.

Time to spill the beans...

Well, I guess I've waited long enough to postpone this...

I have seriously neglected this blog and the sex blogging community and for a reason very much centered around SEX.


I'm 20 weeks 5 days pregnant as of right now and I'm due 12/23/10. I waited and waited due to massive complications (had another u/s today and was given the green-light to stop holding my breath and start painting the nursery PINK) and decided that today was as good a time as any.

I can't believe it, I'm completely shocked as my husband and I have been trying for 4, almost 5 years for a baby. I was even on birth control at the time as we decided to stop fertility treatments due to a miscarriage last winter. I'm in complete awe of every little change even though I've already spent half of my pregnancy on bedrest. I'll admit, I was petrified because from week 8 to 12 she just did not want to stay in there but here I am, halfway and she's stronger than ever and I'm a whole helluva lot more tired.

Anyway, thanks to everyone for their emails asking if I'm alright--- I'm doing just fine. :)


Oh, and just in case I wasn't clear enough ;) I'm PREGNANT!

Stay Posted

On July 7th I plan to spill all on my blog about these past few months and why I've been so fricken busy. It's pretty exciting *well, at least I think so- some of ya'll may disagree*.

I just want to thank anyone who continues to read and visit my blog even though I haven't posted any product reviews, HNT's, or really anything in a while. I love this community, it's the reason why my sex life and my marriage is as wonderful as it is today.

Let's have a little cake ... and put a candle on top of it....

I've been trying to avoid my blog.

Clearly I'm not doing a good enough job because here I am.

Why have I tried to avoid my blog and everything associated with it? Well, I have a bit of news. Now, I'm not really a loud mouth but I can't keep a secret to save my life. This secret is something I do NOT want to jinx.

Any ideas? I don't know if I'm ready to reveal it, I still want to wait another month, just to be safe and sure that I'll have a secret worth sharing.

But it's a secret that's fairly easy to figure out if you know me. So hopefully either I can avoid my blog again completely for 4 more weeks (and I hope not because I miss it!) or I can find a way to work on my blog writing reviews, doing all the things that haven't been done for 6 months (omg, has it really been that long?!) without spilling the beans.

We'll see!

Sex Dreams...

I hardly have time for sleep and I'm usually too exhausted to sleep (yea, it's possible) but somehow... somehow last night I managed to fall asleep and lucid dream at the same time.

I usually always have realistic dreams (which I can remember weeks, months later) yet I rarely have sex dreams. But last night it was a bit of both; a realistic sex dream- I didn't think it possible.


So who was the object of my affection? Curtis Stone, the Australian hottie from Celebrity Apprentice and about 2 dozen cooking shows.

Unfortunately, it wasn't mind blowing sex. There was a lot of lead-up that made me want nothing more than him but when we were finally in the act.... he lost his erection!

Curtis Stone lost his erection! What kind of dream is that? It's more of a nightmare! I mean, my dreams should be dreamlike, everything should happen that doesn't happen in real-life. But there was so much realism it hurt. Life sucks, and the fact this happens in real life and NOW in dreams, sucks!

Now, I don't know how to decipher dreams and right now, I don't have the time nor the energy nor the desire to google (all I want to do is go back to bed) but here's the basic premise of the dream.

Sexy 6'4" Curtis is a roommate (at my parents house?!) but only for a brief period. He works until the early mornings like 3 am. Every time we see one another there is a lot of sexual tension, basically, we flirt whenever possible. I had planned on finally fucking him right when he got home but I waited a few hours and woke him up when the sun was starting to come up.

We go at it, heavy petting and kissing and then I straddle him. We start fucking and it feels fantastic, but within a minute it starts to feel fucking awful, he then goes soft and just slips out completely. He says it is because he's just tired but I'm feeling pretty self-conscious and wondering if I'm "too loose", and then he kicks me out of his room. He loses his erection and kicks me out! The rest of the dream I keep trying to fuck him again but he wants nothing to do with me.

What kind of fucking dream is that? A crap one! Especially with such a hot piece of ass as Curtis Stone.

If I were to dream-weave or some bullshit, why would I have horrible sex and low self-esteem in a dream? Is it because my husband is away and I'm worried he'll sleep around? Is it because I'm worried I'll sleep around? Is it because even in my dreams I can't successfully cheat on my husband because I love him too much and I feel so guilty about just the thought of it I make the sex the worst possible sex? Why do I still follow him around even though the sex was garbage? I guess I just like to rub salt in my wounds.

It's just all so depressing. A sex dream should be a good dream, especially when it's a dream with an Australian God. I'll let it slide... but I'm telling you, if I ever dream about Alexander Skarsgård, it better be fucking good.

I feel great!

With hubby gone I haven't had a lot of time to myself but I have had the space to make some serious changes. For one, I'm trying to erase all my bad habits and it's easier without him here to drag me down.

I decided to go ahead and order Nutrisystem. I tried it 4 years ago and lost 20 lbs in a month and now, I'm destined to stick with it until I get back into the shape I was before I had my son 5 years ago! I managed to score and awesome deal of 4 weeks free!!! Plus someone gave me a discount code: a962f89 for an extra $30 off, with the auto-delivery option it gave me another $33 off and I'm saving a ton of money, which makes me feel good. Mostly, because when he gets back I know I'm going to look and feel phenomenal- and I'm really looking forward to all the phenomenal sex we're going to have!!!!

I really thought I'd have more time this week to finally get my reviews done but my son's schedule has me going nonstop, managing his life is more complicated than managing mine! I bought a netbook to help so I could publish things outside of the house but I lost my digital camera and now I'm going to have to spend this weekend cleaning to try and find it. I would lose my head if it wasn't attached, I swear!

But I feel great, even though I didn't get the things I wanted to get down this week, I just feel so energized and pumped and like I can conquer the world! Plus, I lost 5 lbs and well, that's enough to make me feel pretty fucking great. I also discovered how wonderful the Better than Chocolate is. It's been great to have a complication-free, powerful orgasm.

Check the blog in the coming days for when I finally get some sex toy reviews and pictures up!