Stay Posted

On July 7th I plan to spill all on my blog about these past few months and why I've been so fricken busy. It's pretty exciting *well, at least I think so- some of ya'll may disagree*.

I just want to thank anyone who continues to read and visit my blog even though I haven't posted any product reviews, HNT's, or really anything in a while. I love this community, it's the reason why my sex life and my marriage is as wonderful as it is today.

Let's have a little cake ... and put a candle on top of it....

I've been trying to avoid my blog.

Clearly I'm not doing a good enough job because here I am.

Why have I tried to avoid my blog and everything associated with it? Well, I have a bit of news. Now, I'm not really a loud mouth but I can't keep a secret to save my life. This secret is something I do NOT want to jinx.

Any ideas? I don't know if I'm ready to reveal it, I still want to wait another month, just to be safe and sure that I'll have a secret worth sharing.

But it's a secret that's fairly easy to figure out if you know me. So hopefully either I can avoid my blog again completely for 4 more weeks (and I hope not because I miss it!) or I can find a way to work on my blog writing reviews, doing all the things that haven't been done for 6 months (omg, has it really been that long?!) without spilling the beans.

We'll see!

Sex Dreams...

I hardly have time for sleep and I'm usually too exhausted to sleep (yea, it's possible) but somehow... somehow last night I managed to fall asleep and lucid dream at the same time.

I usually always have realistic dreams (which I can remember weeks, months later) yet I rarely have sex dreams. But last night it was a bit of both; a realistic sex dream- I didn't think it possible.


So who was the object of my affection? Curtis Stone, the Australian hottie from Celebrity Apprentice and about 2 dozen cooking shows.

Unfortunately, it wasn't mind blowing sex. There was a lot of lead-up that made me want nothing more than him but when we were finally in the act.... he lost his erection!

Curtis Stone lost his erection! What kind of dream is that? It's more of a nightmare! I mean, my dreams should be dreamlike, everything should happen that doesn't happen in real-life. But there was so much realism it hurt. Life sucks, and the fact this happens in real life and NOW in dreams, sucks!

Now, I don't know how to decipher dreams and right now, I don't have the time nor the energy nor the desire to google (all I want to do is go back to bed) but here's the basic premise of the dream.

Sexy 6'4" Curtis is a roommate (at my parents house?!) but only for a brief period. He works until the early mornings like 3 am. Every time we see one another there is a lot of sexual tension, basically, we flirt whenever possible. I had planned on finally fucking him right when he got home but I waited a few hours and woke him up when the sun was starting to come up.

We go at it, heavy petting and kissing and then I straddle him. We start fucking and it feels fantastic, but within a minute it starts to feel fucking awful, he then goes soft and just slips out completely. He says it is because he's just tired but I'm feeling pretty self-conscious and wondering if I'm "too loose", and then he kicks me out of his room. He loses his erection and kicks me out! The rest of the dream I keep trying to fuck him again but he wants nothing to do with me.

What kind of fucking dream is that? A crap one! Especially with such a hot piece of ass as Curtis Stone.

If I were to dream-weave or some bullshit, why would I have horrible sex and low self-esteem in a dream? Is it because my husband is away and I'm worried he'll sleep around? Is it because I'm worried I'll sleep around? Is it because even in my dreams I can't successfully cheat on my husband because I love him too much and I feel so guilty about just the thought of it I make the sex the worst possible sex? Why do I still follow him around even though the sex was garbage? I guess I just like to rub salt in my wounds.

It's just all so depressing. A sex dream should be a good dream, especially when it's a dream with an Australian God. I'll let it slide... but I'm telling you, if I ever dream about Alexander Skarsgård, it better be fucking good.

I feel great!

With hubby gone I haven't had a lot of time to myself but I have had the space to make some serious changes. For one, I'm trying to erase all my bad habits and it's easier without him here to drag me down.

I decided to go ahead and order Nutrisystem. I tried it 4 years ago and lost 20 lbs in a month and now, I'm destined to stick with it until I get back into the shape I was before I had my son 5 years ago! I managed to score and awesome deal of 4 weeks free!!! Plus someone gave me a discount code: a962f89 for an extra $30 off, with the auto-delivery option it gave me another $33 off and I'm saving a ton of money, which makes me feel good. Mostly, because when he gets back I know I'm going to look and feel phenomenal- and I'm really looking forward to all the phenomenal sex we're going to have!!!!

I really thought I'd have more time this week to finally get my reviews done but my son's schedule has me going nonstop, managing his life is more complicated than managing mine! I bought a netbook to help so I could publish things outside of the house but I lost my digital camera and now I'm going to have to spend this weekend cleaning to try and find it. I would lose my head if it wasn't attached, I swear!

But I feel great, even though I didn't get the things I wanted to get down this week, I just feel so energized and pumped and like I can conquer the world! Plus, I lost 5 lbs and well, that's enough to make me feel pretty fucking great. I also discovered how wonderful the Better than Chocolate is. It's been great to have a complication-free, powerful orgasm.

Check the blog in the coming days for when I finally get some sex toy reviews and pictures up!

ALONE

I have not had the best year... the best month... and none of my weeks have been 'the best week'. I watch my friends get dealt little drama and trauma every now and again and it always seems like they have these lengthy periods of time that allow them the ability to recover, recuperate, and grow stronger. Those periods in their lives are like little vacations from reality, little spa days to forget the stresses... and oh, I wish I was so lucky.

So we've dealt with a miscarriage, and yes, I'm saying 'we' because I had my husband there to hold my hand. Even if I shrugged it off and left for a few weeks to clear my head. I needed a break because I am not nearly as strong as my gray roots make me look. I am fragile and I like to run away, it's the only way I can get through the tough times. Now, I'm having to do everything- the job of both spouses, the job of both parents, and I'm having to learn how to live ALONE.

Oh my god, can we say that again? ALONE. No, not by choice- the military likes to seperate us every few years and usually, these breaks are relished- they're welcome opportunities to be without one another. It usually makes us love each other more and help us get a breather from our annoying selves before we get to the point where we want to just stab each other because we spend way too much time together. But this time, I have a 5 year old with Aspergers, a townhome that's falling apart (Thank god for HGTV and diynetwork.com), and I've been under a lot of stress... morose than usual. Then again, it's also a blessing.

We have tried nonstop to have more kids, we have jumped through hoops, we have dealt with way too much drama and done way too much to just enjoy the process. Because let's face it, every experience we have trying to have a baby should be amazing, exciting, and filled with hope and determination. The last doctors appointment were full of apprehension, annoyance, depression, and neither of us wanted to be there. Our sex life became shit and I didn't even feel like touching myself.. if he couldn't, how could I?

But this time apart (while I haven't had ANY time to myself) I've been able to just think about well, myself. Think about my needs. Think about who I am- not as a wife or a mother, but as an individual. As someone striving hard to live a meaningful life instead of someone just going through the motions. And finally, FINALLY I miss sex. Once he's gone, I get the urge to have it again- ain't life beautiful? So my trusty reliables have had the dust brushed off them and I've given every damn toy in my toy box a go. I wish and I hope, and dear Lord I will try, to make this an opportunity to finally sit down and do what I've held off on doing... and not just reviews, fun stories, HNT, or any of the other little things that brought me so much joy- but maybe now I'll be able to embark on a journey of self discovery, to find out what type of person I am... because I just haven't done that for a while. We're constantly growing, learning, and I've tried every few years to see just how different I am but sometimes I forget to, sometimes I get so wrapped up in the drama and stress of my life that I forget to take a break and evaluate where I'm at. And yes, I am huge on introspection because I am constantly thinking.

Anyway, while this is a happy post, an upbeat post, it's also an admittance of guilt and shame that I've completely neglected my responsibilities as a blogger and a reviewer. And a promise to my readers and myself that I am going to take whatever free time I have (and there isn't a whole lot when you're both caring for your entire household but your crazy self) to not only get things I've long put off done, but to enjoy the process of accomplishing forgotten projects and to make each and every end result wonderful. This is also an opportunity to find out who I am and maybe to finally find my voice as a sex writer. I've been trying so hard for the past year my website has been live to discover what type of writer I am. I've been longing to discover my niche and I had hoped I would have found it by now but it's okay, I'm fine with going at a slower pace than some of my peers- maybe I can only discover the type of writer I am when I discover the type of person I am. Or, maybe I never will. Either way, my goal isn't for finality, a finish line, or endings but rather to learn to love, enjoy, and relish the present, the paths I choose, and the rides I allow myself to be taken on.

Selling Off the Clutter

Hey, Christmas time is almost here so I would like some walking around money. (AKA money my husband doesn't know about...)

I have a LOT of clutter- new toys, barely used toys (it sounds icky but I'm only getting rid of those that can be boiled or bleached), leather clothing never worn before, gift cards to various sex toy websites, etc. I'll be posting items as I come across them. I also have custom made club-wear that sells for a shit ton of $ that I want to get rid of- some of the dresses/outfits still have the tags on them!!!

Whether you're a legitimate toy shopper or some person out there who wants a toy that I've used (not as creepy as it sounds, I've actually received an email about this like 6 months ago) maybe, HOPEFULLY you can use something here. For toys shipping is $5 and clothing or heavier items are $8.


First up is the Plus-Size Strap-On that I purchased from AdamEve.com for $60. This has NEVER been used for penetrative sex, it has only been used for one photo shoot for my phone sex listings. It was purchased last year. The harness was cleaned with alcohol afterward (even though I wore underwear) and the dildo was never taken out of the plastic. Fair warning, the jelly (supposedly phthalates-free) dildo has turned a weird whitish/orange color inside of the plastic, I have no idea what that is all about. I'm asking $25. It's a leather harness, very stretchy- says it will fit up to a 48" waist but I suspect it will fit larger due to how much the leather stretches.




Next we have a Leather Dress w/ Hook and Eye Closure in a 3x. I ordered a different size but the person on ebay sent me the 3x and would not exchange it leaving me with a dress I could not wear and them a very negative rating! It's very pretty, I paid $100 but I'm asking $60.

Size 3X

Bust:45 - 48

Waist:37 - 40

Hips:47 - 50

Dress Size:22 - 24

Next is the Bloomy which I won in a blogger's photoshop contest. My husband actually had one so this one has NEVER been opened. I have never touched it, it's just sat in my closet for about 4 months. It retails for $40 but I'm asking $20.



Speaking of photoshop I am a wizard at making stretch marks disappear (speaking of myself not the awesome Miss Essin Em), I also like to get a little funky. If for some reason you actually like what I can do, pictures are $10/per.

Original is here

Next we have the Leisure Lover Bumpy Freezy Stiff Vibrator (horrible name). I have NEVER used this nor has it ever been out of the box. But I will try it with batteries before you buy it to make sure it works. I received this free with purchase, it retails for around $30 but I'm asking $15. 6 inch Pink phthalates-free ABS plastic vibrator, waterproof and multi-speed. Frozen texture, uses 1 AA Battery (not incl). I'll include a battery for ya though.



Next is Tantus C-Ring. We've never used this but tried it on, yes. It was put through the dishwasher afterward but I will boil it for you before shipping. It retails for $28 on Tantus' website but I'm asking $12.




Lastly is the Alumina Motion. This one has been used a couple times but it has been boiled. This is an aluminum toy so it's nonporous. It retails for $89 but I'm asking $40. Diameter: 1 3/8" - 1" Length: 8.25"

If you have any questions or are interested in anything that's been reviewed (hey, there's some leather gear and some very upscale items that can be sterilized), email me at questions@sleepingdreamer.com and we'll work something out!

Also, if you're part of the Toy Swap network and see an item I've listed there I can arrange something where you just pay for shipping (a little extra $ maybe too, depending on the original cost of the toy) instead of arranging a trade or swap.